who’s in the driver’s seat? 3 ways to pray for our kids

It feels so strange. So unsettling.

My daughter — the one who I rocked to sleep and taught how to walk — is now driving me all around town. On interstates going 70mph. Down winding, unfamiliar roads.

I’m now most often in the passenger seat. It’s a role I’m not used to. I like being in control. Charting my kids’ courses. Driving them in the direction I think they should go.

My kids are teenagers. I’m in the driver’s seat less and less often now. They are making their own choices and charting their own courses in so many areas and so many ways.

This is how it should be. Gradually letting go of the reigns, letting them make their own mistakes. But sometimes my mama heart can’t take it.

I see one of them breeze through a “stop sign” and I know it could end in a terrible collision.

I watch one of them go fast when they should slow down and I fight the urge to take the wheel again.

I fight the anxiety of what could happen. Of potential dangers and unseen land mines as they go on their journey.

And then, over and over again, I’m reminded that they’re not alone. Whatever wrong turn they make or danger they ignore, it may give me a heart attack, but it doesn’t take their Heavenly Father by surprise.

No matter what our kids’ ages, we simply can’t control everything they do — and certainly not everything they think! No matter how brilliant our mothering skills, that’s just not possible. We’re wise to turn them over to the One who is in control and has the power to reach them in ways that we can’t.

Here are three ways to pray for our kids, turning over control to their Heavenly Father, even as we continue to instruct and guide them:

Pray that God will transform our kids struggles.

We know our children so well. We see their areas of struggle and weakness. My human heart longs to make erase those challenges and breeze through life.

And then I remember a piercing, but painful truth: I have learned far more from my struggles than my successes.

Nothing has brought me closer to God than my realization of how weak I am and how much I need Him.

[Tweet “Nothing has brought me closer to God than realizing how weak I am.”]

And so I don’t pray for God to remove their struggles. Instead, I pray for God to use those areas to open their eyes to their need for Him and inspire them to draw closer. That He will somehow use those struggles for their good and His glory.

Ask for wisdom about when to intervene and when to pull back.

This can be so tricky, especially as our kids get older. When do I allow them to make mistakes and go down a wrong path? When I do I stop them and redirect? When I’m praying and seeking God, He gives me a sense within my spirit that directs me. My challenge is to have the courage to follow His direction — especially if it means doing nothing and leaving them into His hands. My teenage daughter told me recently, “A lot of times I know what you’re saying is right, but it doesn’t really sink in until I find it out for myself.” Sigh.

Pray that God will give them a passion for Him. 

I don’t want me children to have a ho-hum faith. The message of the Gospel — of our completely free redemption and God’s amazing love for us — is too powerful to treat passively. Either the Gospel message changes our whole way of life and everything we do — or why bother?

My daughter is almost 18. Soon, she’ll be leaving my house. I pray that God will lead her next steps — even if that means it’s thousands of miles away from me. The thought of that is difficult. I would miss her terribly, but I will be content if I know that wherever she is, she is passionately serving Jesus.

Because when He is in control of their lives, I can rest in the knowledge that they are always truly safe.