My mother is right. Gosh, I hate that.
After a conversation recently with my mom (more of a pity party for me that she graciously listens to), she said something that has stuck in my head all week.
“Do you know what the hardest thing to do as a mom is?” she asked.
“Yes. Laundry. Next question,” I smirked.
She giggled like she always does, then she replied, “No. The hardest thing a mom does is…. doing…….nothing.
When you want to do something, you want to fix something for your child, your heart breaks because it would just make you feel better to do SOMETHING. And you know that the best thing you can do for them is ……nothing.”
And there it is. Betty-Ann wisdom when I least wanted to hear it. Inconvenient. Troublesome.
And right.
So, then I shared this thought with my mother-in-law, Maxine. She added the following not-so-comforting thoughts:
“Oh yes. That’ll make you stark raving mad. It takes your breath away and keeps you up at night. When you can kiss their boo-boos, give them cookies and make everything alright — that’s when it’s easy. When you feel like you can do nothing or should do nothing…….it makes us sick.”
Well that’s just fabulous. Why, though?
Because we are the mom. The Queen. The End All Be All of our child’s universe for so long and then suddenly,
we are supposed to do nothing?
The world has to teach our children.
They must learn to hear God pursuing them. Drawing them to Him. In order for this to happen, we have to
stop enabling.
My mother heart does not like that. At all. Not one bit.
I love my children, though. “Willing the good of the other”, as it were. In order for me to do that……
I have to do nothing. Even though it hurts. Even though it’s not comfortable.
I’m saying, “I love you” louder than I have ever bellowed before.
By doing nothing.
My prayer is that my children hear less of me and more of Jesus. That He increases and I decrease.
That He holds them, comforts them and leads them to Our Father in a way that I could never do.
Lord, help me stay still. Help me shut up. Help me see that in my nothingness, You can do more.
And bless my mother — even when she’s right.
12 Comments
Doing nothing is super hard as a mom! I’ve spent several weeks with the bum knee where I really could DO NOTHING and was amazed at how much my kids were able to do. It was a big eye opener for me.
It is VERY hard for me to do nothing. VERY hard. And my mom is right too!
It is terrifying letting my kids make their own mistakes and they are only 10, 6 and 3! I can’t imagine how much harder it gets as they get older!! I know my mom still has issues with this, and I am 35!
Doing nothing is extremely hard…and very necessary! You can instruct, mold and show only so much. Eventually they have to step out and try…on their own. They must also decide, on their own, whether or not to listen to God and do the right thing or to go the wayward way. You cannot force them to yield, to obey or to do anything – it is their choice in the end, their will that must choose. It is so hard to watch, but it is the way of freedom of will. In the end, however, letting them learn through our nothing strengthens their resolve and their sense of right and wrong. When they learn to rely on God and not us, that is when they truly grow and blossom.
Great post! 🙂
OMYGOSH how I absolutely LOVE this!!! It’s just so true- and so convicting… and just beautiful in every way.
Let us get out of the way- of Jesus. Not talk over Him- but perhaps be quiet enough that our children can hear Him… more than us… as they grow older… to discern His voice…. and as we pray… while their on their way… they depend on Him…. for all things… and not us.
{Kathy} I have been reminded of this on a daily basis around here, especially with older children. Thanks for visiting.
Oh yes. There are times when I think I should be able to fix something and I’m not able to. Or when I know that I shouldn’t step in because my kids need to figure it out on their own. That’s the hardest.
Absolutely true. I hate it when there is nothing I can do.
Oh, this is so true! My son is almost nine, and I feel like he’s just getting to that that age where he can really learn to take more responsibility for himself. But it’s so hard when I know I could fix it or make it easier if I step in. But I try to remember that if he doesn’t learn now he never will.
So true! And so difficult! But if we could all step back and let our kids make their own mistakes, they’ll be better off in the long run. It’s hard though.
This reminds me of when God says we should be still and know that He is God. Very hard I must agree, being still when we desperately want to “make things alright”. But we cannot know or do better than God. Our children are better off in His hands because whatsoever we commit in His hands He is well able to keep. Thank God for the wisdom both mothers shared.
And thanks for sharing too.
{Kathy} Thank you for that scripture….I think I need to plaster it on my forehead these days.