It may have been Independence Day, but I felt trapped.
We decided to shake up our usual boring July 4th routine and go to a beach about an hour away to eat, hang out and watch fireworks.
It was a very hip, popular beach. Clearly, we’d be in our element.
After sitting in an hour-long traffic jam on the bridge to our destination, my enthusiasm for this bold new plan was waning quickly. Suddenly, lighting sparklers in the driveway didn’t seem like such a bad way to celebrate the 4th.
Then, we look to our left. Dark, threatening clouds.
By the time we parked, the sky had erupted. The kind of sudden and intense rain that causes mass panic and flash floods.
We had two bright yellow ponchos — purchased at a gas station years ago — and a sad, little umbrella.
Faced with this reality, we abandoned our “first choice” restaurant for the little seafood Tiki Hut that was much closer to our car.
Dressed like Big Bird, we made a run for it.
My 13-year-old son thought this scene was hilarious: Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look, Mom?!
Me: Yes, well you’re under a pink umbrella with your mom.
End of discussion.
While we ate, it cleared off enough to go to the beach. But the violent storm had churned things up so much that seaweed, branches and other unidentifiable creatures were swirling and getting caught around my legs. Ewwww.
I headed for a beach chair.
Thirty minutes later, the rains were back with a vengence. I frantically tried to stuff our dry clothes under the chair. It was a futile effort.
Cold and soaked, we fled the beach and got some ice cream.
Mike: Anyone going to be upset if we don’t see fireworks?
Me: I think we’ve had enough excitment.
So, at 8:00 p.m., our wild plan to “shake things up” ended and we headed home. Not at all what we had planned. But — despite everything — we had fun.
Somewhere in the middle of our messy day, my husband said, “Why do things like this always happen to us?”
He was right. These kind of crazy misadventures have always been a part of our family experience.
And it used to really tick me off. Or depress me. Or both. I’d have this perfect picture in my mind and someone or something would blow it to smithereens.
And it would make me really cranky. Frustrated. Disappointed. I’d get impatient and nasty. And I’d say things I’d regret.
I won’t lie. It can — and does — still happen. But I’ve learned something that is helping me keep my peace in messy circumstances: I’ve realized that my peace usually isn’t disturbed by what goes wrong. I lose my peace — my right relationship with God — when I start acting like a bratty lunatic. Ranting at my kids. Snipping at my husband.
That is when a sense of guilt and dread invade my heart. And it’s contagious. Soon, everyone else is losing their peace, too. That old saying is really true, “When mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy.”
We are not responsible for others’ behavior, but we are responsible for our own. And our own behavior has the power to either inspire or inflame our children.
Isaiah 26:3 promises that God “will keep in perfect peace … all whose thoughts are fixed …” on Him. (NLT) It’s up to me whether I focus on my circumstances or instead draw on God’s power so I won’t react in ways I’ll regret.
So when I had to don my Big Bird suit and head out into gale force winds, I laughed.
As we sat looking at the window, watching our well-laid plans float down the parking lot, I made a choice. I looked at my family and said, “Boring doesn’t make memories. Let’s just have fun and make the best of this.”
And on a holiday where nothing went as planned, I experienced peace — and freedom.
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. 2 Thessalonians 3:16
How do you handle it when life gets messy at your house?
Do you find when you lose your peace, it’s contagious?
This post is part of our eight-week series, “Spirited Mom: A Fruity Look at Mothering.” We’re focusing on a different Fruit of the Spirit each week, as it applies to mothering.
22 Comments
I love this, Melinda! I feel that I am bratty and become a lunatic more often than I’d like! When we fix our eyes on Him, it’s instant behavior modification…and yes, it’s infectious…the whole family and those on our path stand to benefit from God’s peace and freedom as He extends that to us. Thank you for sharing your choice so I can remember to make that same one as I am sure a mess awaits me on the horizon!
{Melinda} I’m much better at going with the flow, but that could change at any moment if I’m not careful. If I’m tired and cranky or stressed, I really have to draw on God’s power because I can just go with the flow of my emotions and that is rarely a good thing! 🙂
Oh my, we could be living the same life. Been there, in the rain, and have learned to roll with it rather than stewing in it. Amazing how that blesses others, especially when the peace comes straight from Christ!
{Melinda} Yes, it is a huge responsibility to be the one to “set the tone,” but also what a privilege, Elisa! 🙂
Just love LOVE this!!! It is so true that those crazy everything goes wrong best made out plans, are the ones that can either make us go downhill or laugh. GOOD for you for having FUN with it all- we moms always set the tone.
{Melinda} It’s a big responsibility to “set the tone.” I’m afraid I’ve failed miserably many times, but I’m getting better. The older I get, the more I realize the stuff I get all stressed out about really isn’t worth it. Thanks for stopping by, Chris! 🙂
I know what you mean when you say that we have to create our own sense of peace despite the circumstances. Your right if we keep our eyes focused on God, we can’t help but see the glory and feel a sense of peace. We are wrapped up in his arms and can have that sense of security.
{Melinda} Our security is in Him alone. Staying in that place is the challenge, isn’t it? 🙂
Wow – good for you! That is MUCH easier said then done and I can definitely relate to having that “perfect picture” in mind and then getting extremely nasty and cranky when everything goes wrong. Eventually that leads to everyone being upset, which makes everything worse. Life is messy but short so I TRY very hard to remember that in the moment and just go with the flow…
Great post!! I’m sure I’ll think about this the next time the unexpected happens!
{Melinda} Yes, it does tend to have a domino effect, doesn’t it Allie?! Going with the flow is HARD sometimes.
Great post~love the line “Boring doesn’t make memories. Let’s just have fun and make the best of this.” I’m sure seeing Bird Bird and a 13 year old boy holding a pink umbrella running across the street was a sight to see. Perhaps it made others view their circumstances in a better light as well 🙂
I am guilty of making a bad situation even worse with my attitude and then I see my kids not enjoying themselves and I get mad!!…at myself! I say a quick prayer, take a deep breath and force a smile and laugh and in no time, we are all doing better. Who wants to go through life miserable because something didn’t live up to OUR expectations? God planned it this way for His reasons, we just have to trust in His wisdom!
{Melinda} Never thought of it that way … yes, maybe our predicament made someone else feel better about theirs! 🙂 We were doing a service and we didn’t even know it!
I agree, we can choose miserable, but what’s the point? Like you, I take a deep breath and say a quick silent prayer and it’s amazing what taking just a minute to do that can do for my attitude. I still have to make the choice, but praying helps me tap into the Holy Spirit’s power.
love that line…. “Boring doesn’t make memories. Let’s just have fun and make the best of this.”
it’s so true… Hubby and I talk about all the times when things looked bad or didn’t go as planned…the wonderful memories and stories we have are all worth it.
{Melinda} It’s true, Karen! It can be tough to remember than in the moment when everything is falling apart, but I’m getting better! 🙂
I LOVE this post! It is funny, thought provoking, and engaging! More than that it is a total affirmation for me. I have been praying for peace and an unshakeable joy. I often react way to harshly and can be too easily offended. I choose to make the devil quite angry with my transformation. I aim for PEACE! Love this!
{Melinda} You go, Andrea! Tick off the enemy, girl! 🙂 When we ask according to God’s will, He is faithful to answer. He WANTS to give us peace and unshakeable joy. We just have to cooperate with the Holy Spirit’s leading (that’s the hard part for me!) 🙂
This is terrific! Thanks for making me laugh this morning. I can only imagine how silly you looked in your “Big Bird” suit!
I have found myself wearing these cranky shoes too, too, often, especially when our girls were little. Your admonition through Isaiah 26:3 is spot on.
And I absolutely agree on how non-boring vacations make for interesting and amusing memories!
{Melinda} Thanks for your ENCOURAGING words, Kim! 🙂 Much appreciated. I was so blessed by your post today. Having one of those phases where I feel like I’m doing, but not making much a difference. It was such a great reminder that we are working for God and not for men and we have to leave the results up to Him. Our job is obedience. And that’s a tall enough order! 🙂
I find it totally contagious and feel bad that sometimes I set the mood for the rest of the house or I let my teen set the mood. He’s miserable and I get frustrated and take it out on the whole house. I’m learning to let him be miserable by himself.
I have really missed you guys while I was away. Starting my days off with you guys puts a calm in my heart and in my head. Please know that I appreciate you guys so much and that through your blog, people like me are feeling understood and learning to see things in a new way that helps with the stresses of motherhood.
{Melinda} We have missed seeing you here, too, AnnMarie. Thank you so much for this incredibly sweet comment … means so much.
I have been praying for your and your family, AnnMarie. You are on my heart. <3
Ripple effect. Everyone has it. You choose what type of ripple you will be. You choose to influence for the good or the bad every time you make a choice, and those ripples lead to waves. I don’t always make the right waves, but I am working on it.
Peace is easy to lose if you forget what is important and focus on circumstances for your state of peace. If you remember that God is with you, that He is in control, that somehow it will all be ok because He is with you, that you can focus on the memory in the making instead of the chaos…If you focus on all of those things, peace is kept safely inside along with joy. What a blessing that is! Peace is not based on our control or lack thereof – it is in trusting a God Who is infinite and holds me safely in His hands!
Great post!
{Melinda} What awesome insights, Julie … as usual. 🙂 Yes, the more we focus on God and His sufficiency, the more we are able to maintain that sense of peace even in circumstances that are out of our control. And so many things are out of our control….