Everyday I would plan my escape.
Somewhere far, far away from the wrath of Mrs. Fenimore.
Maybe I can pretend to go to the bathroom and run out the back door to my aunt’s house (three blocks away).
Will my mom buy it if I tell her I have a stomachache — again?
I can read and write. Do I really need to go to school anymore?
You see, second grade was a very scary place. Mistakes were not tolerated in Mrs. Fenimore’s class.
Can’t do that math problem? Sit in the corner until figure it out. You’re just not trying hard enough. (I once sat there for the entire morning).
Giggle in class? Come to the front of the room and I’ll humiliate you so that you’ll be the object of laughter.
It was then that the seeds of fear and perfectionism were planted deeply into my impressionable little heart.
These were her comments on my report card mid-way through the year:
Well, no kidding, lady! You’d be paralyzed, too, if someone yanked your ponytail or pinched your arm at the slightest misstep (she did both to unfortunate classmates).
“Mistakes aren’t allowed” is a message that followed me long after I (finally) left second grade. When I became a mother, I began to keep a daily “report card” of my progress. On any given day, it usually looked something like this:
You see, I didn’t think effort or progress counted. If I lost my patience one time, if I fumbled handling a kid dilemma I’d never faced before, if I groaned at the thought of one more game of Candyland, then all was lost. I graded myself on a strictly pass/fail system.
But just like those skills I was trying to master in second grade, mothering was something I had never done before. Each stage brought new challenges that took time — and mistakes — to master.
My kids are 16 and 13 now — and guess what? I didn’t “mess them up” as I had so often feared! I did fail many, many times. I still do. They aren’t perfect either. Love truly does cover a multitude of sins.
Mrs. Fenimore was wrong. Mistakes are allowed. Everyday, I’m grateful that we’re graded on the curve of the Cross.
He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed. 1 Peter 2:24 (NLT)
6 Comments
May God deliver us and our loved ones from wrong words and the people who speak them. And I totally rejoice in the knowing that we are graded on the curve of the cross. Thanks a lot for sharing Melinda!
Have a super blessed day!
love
{Melinda} Amen to that! I pray that my children will see and absorb Truth instead of lies. I pray that every morning. I was blessed by your blog today — your thoughts are not popular and I really admire your public stand. We need to be bold in our faith and what we know to be true!
Thanks so much for stopping by!
What a horrible teacher! I’m sorry she was so mean to you and the other students. She probably messed people up for years. It seems like teachers are mostly a lot better these days. Through my five kids school careers, we’ve only had a couple that caused them trauma. I’m glad you learned that mistakes are okay and have learned to forgive yourself. Thanks for sharing this lesson with us.
Happy Sharefest. Have a great weekend.
{Melinda} It’s amazing how messages in our childhood can stick with us for so long. So thankful God finally got ahold of my dysfunctional little brain and heart and I began to get His grace. I’m still on that journey. I have to make the choice to accept grace — instead of condemnation — all the time. 🙂
{Melinda} She was beastly, Michelle! She was fired at the end of the year, but not before she left me scarred for life! 🙂 And thank you for your sweet words, Michelle! That really means alot. <3
Oh my gosh, I know it’s not Christian for me to say that she was a beast, but she was a BEAST! Why go into that profession if you don’t seemingly like children!
I give you an “A,” Melinda … for your children and for the encouragement you give to all of us moms. xo