are you hooked on a feeling?

“This is the worst day of my life!” My teenage daughter was at the brink of despair. What inspired gloom of such apocalyptic proportions?

Brace yourself.

She had reached her data limit on her iPhone.

Earlier in the week, she could barely contain her excitement and spontaneously declared me to be “The Best Mom in the World.” What stirred such unrestrained elation and adoration?

I told her I’d take her to Subway.

Emotions can be so unpredictable and irrational. It occurred to me recently that they’re a lot like an oil spill. They can explode spontaneously, are difficult to contain and have the power to create a mess that can cause irreparable damage and is nearly impossible to clean up.

And teenagers aren’t the only ones who have dizzying, inexplicable swings of highs and lows.

I have a hard time containing my emotions, too. Since I’ve become a parent, I’ve found that children can inspire a wide range of emotions all within about a 10-second period. And emotions are a wonderful thing. Life would seem pretty dull and meaningless without them. Where it can get dangerous – especially in mothering – is when we’re led by our emotions.

Emotions can lie to us and cause us to act on things that aren’t true.

Here are a few of the emotions that bubbled up and caused some messy cleanups in my family:

Fear. I think this emotion is the most common one moms experience. We worry about our kids. Fear for their safety. But, if we’re honest, most of us have a fear of losing their love. That fear has led me to say “yes” to things I should have said “no” to – and I’ve paid the price for that more than once.

Frustration. Everyone should do things the way that I do them. My kids have never quite jumped on that bandwagon. So Little Miss Perfection here has had to learn that children have their own unique personalities and do things their own way. And they’re prone to making mistakes. Which is how they learn.

Embarrassment. I used to go a little bonkers when my kids embarrassed me in public. For me, anyway, this was a little something called PRIDE. I was far less concerned about my kids’ behavior as I was about my “image.” People will think I’m a bad mother! As God changed my perspective, I quit worrying so much about what people thought. If I’m doing what I believe to be right, I’ve learned that is enough. No one else has to understand. It was NOT an overnight process. I had to admit my pride problem, pray A LOT and ask forgiveness – from Him and my kids when I messed up.

Finally, ANGER. I learned through a wise counseling friend that anger is always a secondary emotion. Anger is usually spurred by the primary emotions of hurt, fear and frustration. When we acknowledge and address those emotions, we are much better at taming our anger. That has certainly been the case for me.

We’ll never completely tame our wayward emotions. But we can learn to recognize when they are unhealthy and choose not to act on them. Although I still struggle, I’m living proof that progress in this area can be made with God’s help.

He’s the Master at containment and cleanup.