It’s the same story every Christmas.
On December 1st, I bring out the Advent calendar.
It is the one my mother gave me when Molly was born. Each animal, shepherd and wise man — and ultimately baby Jesus — is velcroed to the manger scene one-by-one until the big day arrives.
And from the moment it appears, the conversation goes something like this:
Micah: I get to put one on first! I get the odd days and you get the even days.
Molly: He always gets to do it first. Fine. Whatever.
Micah: And tell her not to put the shepherds in the sky this year. She always puts the shepherds in the sky! Shepherds don’t fly.
Molly: Why do you care where the shepherds are?! When it’s my day, I can put them wherever I want on MY day. I’m a rule breaker. What can I say?
The back-and-forth goes on for 25 long days. Just to irritate him, Molly sometimes takes the animals Micah has put on and puts those in the sky. This is the point where I begin praying for “Peace on Earth” and consider making the calendar fly into the trashcan.
But somewhere along the line, I realized something. They both secretly like it — althought they’d never admit it. Micah would be disappointed if Molly didn’t put shepherds in the sky. And Molly would be disappointed if Micah didn’t have a fit about it.
Then, there’s the Christmas tree.
Every year, I have this dream of the whole family decorating the tree — all of us with laughter in our bellies and a twinkle in our eyes.
Instead, this is closer to the picture at my house:
Me: Time to decorate the tree!
Molly: Now? I want to decorate, but not now. Can’t we do it later. (Goes back to important texting activities.)
Micah: I’ll do it, Mom.
Finds out he has to help bring decorations from garage. Joins Molly on the couch.
Micah: Maybe Dad will help.
Me: I think Dad may still be traumatized from the whole setting-up-the-tree and hang the lights experience, but you can ask.
Micah and I begin decorating tree alone.
Molly (finally looks over): Hey! Don’t do it all! Begins to rummage through ornaments. I remember this one! I made it when I was, like, in first grade. You can’t put this one on! It’s so ugly.
Molly and Micah begin laughing at the old ornaments and the memories associated with each one.
Dad hears laughter, decides its safe to emerge, and begins playing Christmas music and hanging a few ornaments.
It’s the same fight every year. But I think they all secretly like it. (Although it’s a bit traumatic for me.)
When Jesus came 2000 years ago, He wasn’t what people envisioned. They would have expected a majestic King coming in all His glory. Instead, He was small and humble. Born in a manger under far-from-perfect circumstances.
But there is something wonderfully beautiful about the real-ity of His birth.
It’s a valuable reminder that “real” life isn’t always what we plan. Sometimes it’s better.
14 Comments
I am so happy to see that it isn’t just my family that has these moments. The hardest lesson that is finally sinking in (slowly) is that life isn’t always what we plan.
{Melinda} It’s hard to accept sometimes, AnnMarie, but I think if everything were perfect all the time, I wouldn’t experience the grace and faithfulness of God in the ways that I have. I wouldn’t feel like I need Him so desperately and I’d be pretty shallow. 🙂 Still, a break from chaos now and then is highly welcomed.
With all the sadness in the news lately, we need Him now more than ever. We cannot always make sense of everything, but you are right that we are part of something bigger and better.
{Melinda} He is what keeps me hopeful even in the dangerous times that we live in, Raquel.
I loved your line, “And Molly would be disappointed if Micah didn’t have a fit about it.” But as a mom, aren’t you secretly wishing he just wouldn’t have a fit about it even if it makes moments special? 🙂
Siblings arguing for the sake of arguing is not something I’m looking forward to!
*Coming over from SITS Sharefest.
{Melinda} Yes, I am always secretly — and sometimes vocally — wishing for fewer fits!
Thanks so much for stopping by … I will return the favor. 🙂
Oh what an perfect reminder that our “ideal” world is never what we plan it to be… may we always take the bits and pieces of what is authentically and imperfectly ours, and cherish it!!! 🙂
{Melinda} Amen, Chris! God works in and through the imperfect! 🙂
Love this line: ““real” life isn’t always what we plan. Sometimes it’s better.” We get these ideas in our head about how things should be. If we get upset that they aren’t working out that way we miss out on the magic of unplanned moments.
It’s been a crazy month for us so we don’t even have a tree yet. I’m hoping that happens today. Once we get it in the door and in the stand, I try to turn everything else over to my kids (my 17-year old will do the lights). I’m not big on decorating but they like it. We’ll see which fights happen and if they’ve outgrown any yet. I keep hoping.
Happy Sharefest. And happy holidays to you both!
{Melinda} “If we get upset that they aren’t working out that way we miss out on the magic of unplanned moments.” That is so true, Robin … the unplanned moments are often the best ones.
Good luck with the tree. Mine have been having the same arguments for more than a decade and I don’t see it stopping anytime soon! 🙂 Embracing the reality of it all!
{Melinda} Awww… thank you for such a sweet comment, Lisa. It’s taken me a long time to just embrace reality instead of feeling like I have to keep chasing after the “ideal picture” in my head.
We feel the same way about your blog … you and Ashley are always funny, encouraging and uplifting. 🙂
I love your family traditions. You will treasure them forever. Long after they’ve grown and it’s your grandchildren helping and wanting to know the stories of each ornament and helping the shepherds fly on the advent calendar.
{Melinda} Vicky, somehow your comment ended up in my spam folder and I’m just now responding. Thank you for your sweet comment — you are so right. Usually, it’s the traditions we don’t “plan” that are the ones that stick and are the most special memories. 🙂
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas with your family!
On a day where I’ve been in tears more than once, these are tears of the best kind. This just got me “It’s a valuable reminder that “real” life isn’t always what we plan. Sometimes it’s better.”
I do always have these visions in my head about the way things SHOULD be if they were perfect. Of course they never are exactly that way…and that’s okay. Sometimes, it’s even better. 🙂 I just love that.
I always leave your blog feeling uplifted. You guys are the best! –Lisa