I snapped on the harness and took a deep breath.
I do not like heights. At all. If God had intended for me to be suspended in space, I’d have sprouted wings.
And yet here I was, ready to walk on thin, wobbly pieces of twine hovering hundreds of feet above the ground.
All in the name of family togetherness.
We were on vacation and my thrill-seeking family got all giddy when they spotted a nearby high ropes course.
You’re not going to chicken out, are you, Mom? my daughter asked.
No.
Yes!
Maybe.
I don’t know!! All I knew is my turn better come quick. I couldn’t have too much time to think about this.
Micah and his sister cleared the first stretch of death with ease. I couldn’t believe I had volunteered for this.
Slowly, but surely, my fearless kids coached me through the challenges of the first level.
“Come on, Mom! You can do this! Just don’t look down!”
They’d almost convinced me that I could conquer the second level when I noticed a girl frozen mid-rope. “Rope resucers” had been dispatched to save the poor, paralyzed soul. Some were laughing and pointing. Others looked on with pity.
And suddenly it hit me. That would NOT be me. Time to return to solid ground — where the sane people live. From there, I cheered my husband and kids on and snapped pictures as they calmly cleared all three levels. Who are these people?
In the midst of hanging by a thread — literally and figuratively — it occurred to me that this was fun. THIS was how our family rolled.
We’ve tried other ways to bond. At one time, I was hot on making Family Game Night one of our beloved bonding traditions. In light of my kids’ competitive natures, it quickly threatened to become “Family Domestic Disturbance Night.” Mugshots are for post office walls, not the family scrapbook. Memorable? Yes. Heartwarming? No.
It took a while, but I realized our best family bonding seemed to occur when we were channelling adrenaline. So we hit all 14 roller coasters at Six Flags Over Atlanta. Cheer on the Tampa Bay Rays at nearby Tropicana Stadium. Play beach football. Hiked Stone Mountain. I even discovered that teaching and chasing after a lively roomful of four-and-five year olds at church once a month led to some great conversations and bonding with my teenage daughter.
Prior to that “Eureka!” moment, I had almost given up on planned family events. The kids usually complained about them anyway. What was the point?
But we can’t despair if some of our attempts at bonding fall flat.
Instead, think about your family’s personalities. Ask your kids what family times they’ve enjoyed the most. Then tailor your activities accordingly. I guarantee you that eventually you’ll find that “thing” that makes your family time thrive.
Apparently, for us, it’s the threat of imminent death. At least we’ll all go together.
21 Comments
Great! I actually like board games, but the idea that family time has to be board games and a movie every Sunday night feel a little constraining, doesn’t it? This sounds like an awesome way to connect with family.
{Melinda} I think board games work great for some families — just not ours! 🙂 But doing something active seems to break any tension that is between us and allows us to let our guard down.
Great perspective changer for me. You managed to talk about great family time in a creative way WITHOUT making me feel guilty! Thank you.
{Melinda} You’re welcome, Laura! Family time should not be a source of guilt, should it?! 🙂
That’s awesome, I LOVE adrenaline like that. I’m always game for stuff like that, even when it’s scary. My daughter, not so much. We bond as a family often over creating things together, playing video games together, and going on adventures. 🙂
{Melinda} You’re right! It’s FUN, even when it’s scary! I think it makes me feel like I learn more things about myself and challenge myself in those situations (and I think it does the same for my kids.) Glad you’ve found some things that really make your family time together fun, Kristin. 🙂
What an unusual and an interesting revelation to come to!! You’ve made me see our family activities in a different light!
{Melinda} I’m so glad! 🙂
I love how you tell a story!! I am SO. YOU. I would have been in sheer panic mode through the entire thing! How amazing that you found this perfect “family time recipe”!! (Get it? Perfect pun if I might say so myself!) I can bet that family time changes through out the seasons as our children grow older…and everyone’s interests change. Our children still love to snuggle and watch wipe out or face off these days. I am SURE that will change! Well, the snuggling they beg for will change, maybe not the TV watchiing part. 😉
{Melinda} Chris, that is a really good point. Our family time recipes (loved your pun! 🙂 do change as our kids interests change. My son would NOT have done 14 roller coasters a couple of years ago! Just like all aspects of mothering, we have to be flexible, attentive and be ready to adjust without warning. 🙂 And hold onto that snuggling for as long as you can. They don’t warn you when that’s about to end either! Sniff.
Love thos post! We tried family fun via Wii games. We did the old girls against boys trick and oh dear, it did not end well! Bragging and tears are not a good combo!
{Melinda} Paula, somehow, in a warped way, it comforts me to know that my family isn’t the only one who doesn’t look like the families in the commercials when we’ve tried to play Wii or board games! 🙂
Oh I love this post. You made me laugh! I would so be that mom that panics and perhaps chickens at the last minute! Love your advice… and your humor!
{Melinda} Awww … thanks for your sweet comment, Kari! I can laugh at it now, but really, the whole heights thing freaks me out! But I knew I couldn’t just be a spectator. I might not make it to the top, but I was going to participate!! 🙂
Such great advice! Thanks for sharing! Sounds like you have a great and fun family! 🙂
{Melinda} I do have a great family. We annoy and challenge each other, but underneath all that is a pretty solid foundation of love. 🙂
Love this! Our family is the same way – we seem to make our most lasting memories when we’re lost, challenging comfort zones, out of sorts, or just trying something completely new and crazy to us. It has put me SO far out of my norm, but I’m grateful for it!
{Melinda} Stacey, I’m a girl who has spent her whole life trying to attain “perfect.” Motherhood totally shattered that — and I am so grateful, too! The really great family stuff happens when we’re out of our comfort zones and when things don’t go “perfectly” as planned. So glad God gave me kids!
Thanks so much for stopping by!
{Melinda} It took me a long time to figure out what really seemed to be memorable (in a good way) for our family, Michelle. We are definitely not a “norm” al bunch! 🙂
Have fun eating pretzels with your boy!
Truly good advice! Just blindly following what we might think is the “norm” for activities without considering the personality of your own clan can lead to boredom and throwing your hands in the air and giving up on the fun! Thanks for reminding us that bonding means different things for different families.
I’ll be picking up The Boy from school and heading over to Barnes and Noble for a Pizza Pretzel and quality time. 🙂