Have you ever stayed up until 3 a.m., bearing your soul to another mom?
Years ago, the thought of sharing my (Melinda) inmost struggles would have terrified me. I was a Bible Study leader. A good Christian mama. Exposing my vulnerabilities would surely damage the name of Christ. Others would never look at me the same.
Better to suffer in silence than risk my good girl image.
I pulled the feat off pretty well. Until I hit the middle school years with my daughter. And “struggle” took on a whole new meaning. I continued to lead Bible Studies with a smile on my face, but I was dying inside. Isolated. Alone.
Another mom in my study — with a daughter Molly’s age — began to open up a bit about her angst and insecurities.
It gave me enough courage to share just a little of my story with her after a session one day. One evening we got together and slowly the masks began to come off. After I revealed a particularly dark (to me) fear, she looked at my dumbstruck.
She said, “This is so refreshing. All this time, I’d been thinking, ‘If I only had it all together like Melinda! And you’re just as messed up as I am!’”
We both burst out laughing.
That experience unlocked something in me. A short time later I started a blog, “Coming Clean: Confessions of an Imperfect Parent.” Sharing my burdens with others brought me something I never expected: Freedom!
For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all. Luke 8:17
My (Kathy) exposure was more gradual. There was no “a-ha” moment for me. God slowly began convicting me to share my struggles with other mothers. Every time I opened up, I was blessed with a sense of self-forgiveness. The women that I confessed to were also positively impacted by hearing my story.
Our secrets make us sick. The Body of Christ is always strengthened when it’s weakest parts are revealed. Sharing our stories doesn’t just bring freedom and forgiveness for us. Breaking down our walls allows others to experience healing and freedom as well.
It is more than just a warm, fuzzy feeling we get when someone says, “I know just how you feel.” Engaging in humility, openness and community is obedience to Christ.
True community is not just a vent session, where we may feel understood, but still walk away broken and empty. It’s sharing and bearing burdens in such a way that we provide support and healing for one another.
Are you hiding from community? If so, why?
What is one small way you can open up to community this week?
8 Comments
So absolutely true. I used to hold back and not share with anyone but now I try to be more open – not only when I write but in person too with friends and family – and it is so incredibly rewarding.
{Melinda} Yes, Tricia… it is definitely worth the risk. I’m just sorry it took me so long to see that!
great post and so true, in a community we have so many friend and support. Great that you were able to find support babe.
{Kathy} Friends and support are the only way to “do motherhood”. Thanks for stopping by, Karen. I am headed over to check out your post now.
Its always scary to open up and be vulnerable. But then when we do its so much better! The relationships only get better 🙂
{Kathy} God knew what He was doing when He asked us to confess to one another. Bonding over a similar problem allows us both to feel some mercy. Thanks for visiting. It’s good to have you here.
I find a lot of freedom in confessing parenting shortcomings to random moms at the park. It seems to start things out right cause they see from the start that I’m pretty normal. Then I don’t have to worry later about living up to the good girl image. nip it in the bud 🙂
{Kathy} That’s great Linda! The park is a perfect place to connect to other moms. It is good common ground.