Going against the grain.
Moving against the tide.
Drawing a line in the sand.
All of these can make motherhood exhausting. But they all are examples of boldly professing our faith by setting boundaries with our kids.
Today’s challenge is looking in our parenting life for a new line, a new boundary — even one that’s difficult. There is somewhere where we have been complacent.
A place that makes us squirrely in our stomach.
When we experience it with our kids, a little voice inside our head says, “Danggit, I wish I was stronger in this area. I know I should do something different.”
Here are a few COMMON places which we struggle drawing a line:
1. Television viewing. Is there just too much? Are they watching shows that make us wince or cringe when we hear them? Do the commercials bother us or having too much influence over our children?
2. Computer use. If every time you think of our kids’ faces, it’s of them looking down at a screen, it’s time. Time to pull back and set a limit.
3. Backtalking. This one is HARD. It sneaks up on us and escalates before we realize that our kid is just flat out rude. Maybe we’ve been in a public place and we’ve gotten looks from people around us. Maybe something lovingly said to us recently, “You really shouldn’t let them talk to you that way.” We encourage you to find out what the root of why we accept this behavior to begin with. Then, set a line.
Yes, we have guilt. It’s hard to distinguish whether the guilt is real conviction or condemnation. Conviction energizes us and makes us feel like moving. Condemnation paralyzes us and calls us to a closet with a tight, tight door.
The place to start is with an honest conversation. And a little warning.
“Tomorrow, the TV will only be available for use for an hour. Which hour would you like that to be?”
“Mommy’s computer will be put away unless you’re doing homework on the weekdays.”
“Please use the same tone of voice with me that you would use with the principal at your school, a police officer or a pastor. I am your mother. I actually have more influence over your life than any of those folks.”
We know where the line needs to be drawn. Our part is to muster up the bold courage it takes to do it.
Where do you want to draw a new difficult boundary?
How are you going to approach the situation with love and assertiveness?
How does this relate to how you feel about your vocation as a mom?
2 Comments
Thanks for this post. I really appreciate the examples of dialogue. I was not always respected in conversations with my parents. Therefore, it isn’t always easy to find a way to say “use a better tone of voice” in a thoughtful way. Reading your healthy examples helps me change the conversations in my family! Thank you!
{Kathy} Justine, I’m glad you found it useful.Thanks for visiting!!