The time had come.
I delayed the inevitable as long as I could. But as I looked around my then-11-year-old daughter’s room, I was faced with a crushing reality. It’s childish contents were no longer a reflection of the emerging woman who was occupying its princess pink walls.
From the time we bought her first Fisher Price dollhouse at age two, Molly was completely mezmerized. Over the years, her room’s perimeter had become lined with an elaborate labyrinth of dollhouses of varying shapes and sizes. Scraps of fabric, empty Kleenex boxes and old candy wrappers were among the unlikely treasures that she collected and repurposed into dollhouse decor.
Each miniature doll had a name and a carefully developed personality, including a ‘Mom’ who often possessed superhuman capabilities. “She has 13 children,” Molly would say. “She’s the school principal and a fashion designer.” And she pays the mortgage to Barbie’s Dream House to boot? No pressure there.
It was a sweet and innocent time. And I didn’t want it to end. Yet, on a Saturday afternoon, I accepted reality. And I found myself, side-by-side with my daughter, slowly disassembling her childhood. Together, we giggled as we made unexpected discoveries of lost Polly Pocket clothes, funny drawings, old diaries and a pair of much-loved sequined princess slippers that had long ago lost their regal luster.
At the same time, I was filled with an overwhelming wave of sadness and regret. Cries of “Play with me!” echoed in my mind. I cringed as I considered how many times I didn’t. Consumed with daily demands and exhaustion, I always thought there would be time — later.
“Later” comes sooner than we think — and without warning.
The future doesn’t tap us on the shoulder and gently whisper, “Your little girl is growing up. This stage isn’t going to last much longer.” No. “Later” simply shows up one day, unannounced and with an in-your-face pronouncement: “Yuck, mom! Why did you buy me a pink shirt?! I don’t wear pink anymore! That’s so babyish.”
These sudden endings crystallize the truly fleeting nature of the time with our children.
Busy days pass without notice — and turn into months and years. We can’t freeze time. Kids grow up. Change is a part of life. What can keep me up at night is what I’ve missed along the way.
I spent too many years consumed by “shoulds” and “ought tos” — driven by a need to please, do and go. I can tell you this: Overcommitment is the enemy of relationship. A frenzied pace doesn’t allow for unhurried moments with children or the ability to be fully present — physically and mentally — with our children. We desperately need God’s leading as we raise and guide our children. Constant chaos drowns out the silence needed to hear His voice.
My doll maven is now 18 years old. And if I could give one message to the mother of a fairy princess, it would be this: Slow down. Whatever you think is so important, more often than not, it can wait. Your princess won’t.
Yes, deep down, she’ll always be a princess — even if she no longer dresses like one. But “poof!” — before you know it — the tutu will be tucked away. And the dollhouses will be abandoned and forced to look for new tenants.
We’re wise to enjoy the magic while it lasts.
20 Comments
My son is 3 and daughter is 9 months. We have decided this is it and almost everyday I try to remind my self that I need to enjoy it and play as much as I can. Sometimes it is hard because life is so busy but your post is a reminder that I need to forget about the list of things to do, it can wait. So what if the house is a little messy and the dishes aren’t done. My kids and I won’t remember if the house was dirty or clean but we will remember the fun times we have. Thank you for the great reminder. I am going to post this on my facebook page and pin it. I love it.
Amiejo, you are spot on, my friend! They really, really won’t remember the dirty house. Thanks for sharing the post!!!
Thank you so much for this reminder! i’m turning off my computer right now and going to play with my little princess!
The biggest blessing of Gia is that I get a second chance. I look at Belle and I miss my fairy princess. I swear, I blinked and she was not playing with dolls and Barbies anymore. I miss that for her. I know to slow myself down with Gia. Happy Mother’s Day, Ladies!
{Melinda} You are so fortunate to have that second chance, AnnMarie. I think I just had no concept with Molly, my firstborn, how quick everything really goes. I’ve tried to savor it more with Micah and with Molly while she’s still in my house. 🙂 Hope you had an amazing Mother’s Day!
They grow up very fast indeed. My son is 6 and I cherishing each moment because I know the time is coming when he won’t be a little boy anymore. I love the innocence children have at this tender age, but it doesn’t last forever.
{Melinda} My “little boy” is 13 now … when did that happen?
Ah, this his me hard today – we went to tag sales all morning buying pink dollhouses (a dollar!) and princess dolls (another dollar!) for my three-year-old. And my husband and I had the same thought about where we’d put all of this stuff eventually. I suppose for now we’ll enjoy the sea of pink as much as we can.
{Melinda} Awww… those are sweet times, Tamara. It’s hard to remember that in the moment sometimes. 🙂 Hope you had an amazing Mother’s Day!
Yes, it sure does go fast. My princess is 27 and my prince is 25. Both are married and one has two kids. I’m just not sure where all those years went.
But now I have two grandkids. Ivy is 3-1/2 and Calvin is 2. And you better believe I put them first and everything else second. They live across the street so they’re here a lot and when they’re here, we play. This time around I know how fast the time goes and I’m enjoying every single minute.
Of course, that’s part of being a grandma is all about.
{Melinda} Wow. You are so fortunate those little ones live so close! Yes, I think as we get older we learn to appreciate the things that count more!
What would I do without mom’s like you guys. So often I find myself trolling the girls later it not right now. After reading this post this weekend may be a little different. Your post make me smile:)
{Melinda} It’s so easy to get caught up in the everyday and not see the big picture, Ashley. Hug those girlies tight! 🙂
My youngest is singing, coloring at the table, making me a picture as I read this. Tears here. And so I’m going to close this computer and go color with her. Thank you for the reminder!
{Melinda} Awww … yes, love on that little sweetheart and sing right along with her. 🙂
OMG…your posts always make me cry woman…they really capture every mother’s emotions. I am going to make sure I play with Dino more now, I want to cherish every moment while I still can.
{Melinda} Yes, I would play another round of Polly Pockets in a heartbeat, Karen! 🙂 Enjoy the moments!
{Melinda} It really does. My daughter will be a junior in high school next year and I’m still a little in shock. Wasn’t I just a junior in high school?!
It goes by so fast, doesn’t it? So much faster than we ever imagined possible. Great post.-The Dose Girls