parenting in hogwarts castle

It was all supposed to be quite magical.

We’d been told that the new Harry Potter ride at Universal Studios was “the best ride created by any amusement park — ever.”

The attraction was a 3-D thrill ride that more than lived up to the hype — and I say that as one of the three people left in the world who has never actually read a Harry Potter book.

The 90-minute wait for this 90-second ride, however, was a true descent into darkness.

Stifling 103-degree Florida heat does not bring out the best in me, my husband — or my children.

Throw in a frenzied crush of  thousands of other sweaty, cranky park patrons and the result is, well, not amusement.

As we waited in line for the Dragon roller coaster, both kids began bickering. Then the infighting was combined with complaints of thirst, boredom and desperate claims of heat stroke.

At this point, I might have had a mommy meltdown.

The family fun continued as we entered Hogwarts Castle.

Refereeing a sibling battle in any circumstance takes some parenting wizardry. Try this feat in a spooky, dark castle. While a Harry Potter hologram talks to you. As fake snow falls on your head. In front of lines of perfect strangers who seem to be watching — and judging — your every move.

After 15 years of mothering, I still cringe at the public assessment of my parenting skills. Because it just reminds my perfectionistic little self that I can’t control everything my children do. Or what anyone thinks.

I don’t have Stepford children. No one cast an evil spell on them. They are just children. Who make mistakes. And sometimes give me attitude. And don’t really care if I look good. Imagine that.

Trying to obsessively control our children’s behavior may get the bed made better. But it makes our relationships worse.  We lose respect and credibility. Most of all, we risk hardening — or even losing — their hearts.

So how do we keep the magic in our mothering?

Remember Whose opinion matters. We don’t have to prove our mothering worth to anyone. People make judgments based on an incomplete picture of our kids, challenges and situations. God knows our hearts and motives in their entirety. He alone sees all our hidden battles. He offers us far more grace and mercy than we often give each other — or ourselves.

Recognize progress doesn’t always run in a straight line. Many times I’ve seen one of my children have a victory in a particular area and breathed a sigh of relief. Until, the next day, when it all seems to fall apart. But progress is being made. Sometimes we don’t always see it. But the Holy Spirit is always working. Each victory and setback is shaping our children — and their parents — into who God created us to be.

Relax. We are not responsible for everything — good or bad — that our children do. We can guide and influence, but ultimately, they make their own choices about who they want to be. It’s scary and freeing all at the same time. It’s our job to do the best we can — and leave the rest up to their Heavenly Father.

Family life isn’t always a fairy tale. But when we surrender the illusion of control, it can be Divine. 

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10 (ESV)