What Do I Do Now? I’ve Screwed Up

My cell phone rings with an unidentified number. Should I answer it? Maybe it’s one of the kids. Ok.OK.

“Hello?”

“You have really messed up the kids now,” I heard someone say. “You are just so bad at this mothering thing. Look at you. Did you honestly think this was a good idea?”

The voice seemed harsh, but familiar.

Whatever I did must be terrible? They are probably screwed up for life. Yep, I really did it this time…

“What have you done? You idiot! Can’t you do anything right?” the voice continues,” Just look at THAT! Yes, THAT. You should have known better.”

I said, “Who the heck is this? How did you get my cell number…How–”

“You should just give up this whole Mommy thing. Someone else can do this better than you. Can’t you see her? She’s smarter than you any day of the week. Just let her do it. Not you,” the voice said growing stronger.

“Umm. I don’t know who you are, but I am not listening to this any longer,” I said.

Before my finger hit the END button, the voice finally registered in my mind.

It was mine.

END

My phone rings again. This time displaying “J.C.”

It can’t be me again…..Ok, I’ll answer.

“Hello…”

“You are really trying the best you can with your kids. You have learned what your weaknesses are and allowed Me to make them into strengths. I’m so glad that you decided to answer this call.

The sweet sound on the other side reminded me of the voice I hear in the quiet of my heart. The One who knows me. The One who loves me.

“Forgiveness is always yours for the asking. I want you to be close to me, to seek me when you need something.”

“What about THAT?…” I asked.

“I took care of THAT. You learned from THAT, didn’t you? Have faith that I designed you to depend on me, not yourself.  Please forgive yourself. I have,” He gently reminded me. “I chose you for these beautiful children. I want you to mother them — with My help.”

“Thanks,” I whispered. “I’m glad I answered.”

He added, “Don’t listen again unless you recognize that it is Me.”

 

That other number…….is blocked now……by a very large, wooden cross.

 

“I have called upon You, for You will answer me, O God; Incline Your ear to me, hear my speech.” Psalm 17:6

“For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps.” I Peter 2:20-22

How can we make sure we are listening to God’s voice?

When we mess up, how can we rely on God’s grace to help us forgive ourselves as much as He forgives us?

Are we ready to “block the number” of negative voices around us?

 

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8 Comments

  • Thank you for this. I came to your website after you left me a comment on my site, before I wrote a reply. I feel as if someone takes time to visit me, I’m going to visit them, first.

    Reply
    • {Kathy} I really enjoyed your site! I like to visit those who visit me as well. I hope you find some encouragement here. Good to have you with us.

      Reply
    • {Kathy} Ashley, that inner voice can be so loud sometimes. The mute button in my brain needs to be pressed on a daily basis.

      Reply
  • Oh, what a lovely post. There’s so many people in my contact list that I must always remember to call unto Him.

    Reply
    • {Kathy} Jamie, thanks for your feedback. My contact list is so full of people that I never talk to on a daily basis. Jesus just can’t be one of them. Calling Him is easy; I wish I did it more often.

      Reply
    • {Kathy} Thanks, Kristin. I’m glad you enjoyed it. God bless.

      Reply

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I PROVIDE WOMEN WITH RESOURCES FOR HEALING AND WHOLENESS

I’m a woman who was radically changed when the God I thought I knew since childhood opened my eyes to the overwhelming depth of His love for me. I love speaking, writing, and pointing women to the Father so they can experience for themselves the healing power of His incredible, captivating love.

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